Interesting start. I don’t read much sci-fi fantasy but I feel like some of the dialogue feels too modern and doesn’t exactly fit. The interaction between Drax and Theo feels a bit rushed if they haven’t known each other that long. Like her constantly saying to not lie to her as if she knows him well enough to know he’s lying is strange. Him already trying to kiss her feels like the whatever tension could be there hasn’t been allows to simmer enough for it to feel like a good ship for me. Some of the unfamiliar words I’d have liked a brief explanation of what it meant but besides all that it’s a cool start and I look forward to see where this story goes.
I will note: time period wise, this is taking place in a slightly future from now universe. Also, embrace the strange feeling - strange is an important through line. Appreciate you and can’t wait to hear more of what you think going forward.
Interesting start. I don’t read much sci-fi fantasy but I feel like some of the dialogue feels too modern and doesn’t exactly fit. The interaction between Drax and Theo feels a bit rushed if they haven’t known each other that long. Like her constantly saying to not lie to her as if she knows him well enough to know he’s lying is strange. Him already trying to kiss her feels like the whatever tension could be there hasn’t been allows to simmer enough for it to feel like a good ship for me. Some of the unfamiliar words I’d have liked a brief explanation of what it meant but besides all that it’s a cool start and I look forward to see where this story goes.
I will note: time period wise, this is taking place in a slightly future from now universe. Also, embrace the strange feeling - strange is an important through line. Appreciate you and can’t wait to hear more of what you think going forward.